


Endgame

by Queeninbroceliande



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M, Post-Canon, chalex - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:22:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24623905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queeninbroceliande/pseuds/Queeninbroceliande
Summary: He never let’s go of Charlie’s hand. Not when they talk. Not when they eat. Not when they kiss. And he doubts he ever plans to.
Relationships: Charlie St. George/Alex Standall
Comments: 29
Kudos: 153





	Endgame

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!
> 
> This is my first ever story in English, which is not my mother language, so I hope you'll appreciate it.
> 
> I borrow Suzanne Collins' words about Annie and Finnick to write my summary.

Alex never misses Charlie’s games. He never even thinks of an excuse to miss them, nor to miss him.

After graduation he spent his whole summer with Charlie. They went to every party together and visited Berkeley together and drove along the ocean together. They made plans, they made cookies, they made love for the first time and had a million other times.

He told Charlie a part of him will always be sad. He told Charlie he was too good for him. He told Charlie he didn’t deserve to be happy but yet he is and he thinks that everything started that night at the prom when he admitted his feelings towards Charlie.

He had lost Hannah. He had never truly had Jessica as a lover. He had buried too many kids his age. He’s had a crush on Winston and it was easy because they didn’t know each other. Because Winston didn’t know Alex was a monster. But then again, he was hurt. He was left alone but not for long.

Charlie knew the worst of him and it was terrifying because Charlie was the funniest, the nicest, the sweetest spirit in Liberty and especially in Alex’s life. He was afraid of losing him and it made him afraid of loving him. Until they danced together with their crowns and their hands and their hearts and he confessed what he had knew from the moment Charlie admitted he googled his symptoms to take good care of him.

He likes to be taken care of. He likes when Charlie asks what’s wrong but smiles at him and grabs his hand and makes things better already. He likes to wake up by his side and to sleep on his shoulder. He likes to drive from Berkeley knowing he’s about to kiss his boyfriend and he even likes going to these goddamn games.

He never missed Charlie’s games since the semester started but tonight, he misses the game and he misses Charlie. He hopes he’s winning because he doesn’t like to see him disappointed when he has such a beautiful grinning face. He misses everything.

Jessica had a very important meeting that evening and he wanted to be by her side. Even Charlie said he should be. They share a little flat with Jessica. They sleep on the same couch and they love their relationship, their friendship at last and forever. Sometimes she goes with him and Tyler to Cresmont because she’s fond of Charlie and missing Estela. She’s glad Alex is happy and she knows he will be as long as he has Charlie.

She knows when he’s sad, she knows when the memories are back, she knows when he has a nightmare and she knows the guilt, she knows his difficulties, she knows how his lips are sagging when he’s not well and how he shakes when he’s panicking. She knows him like he knows her so perfectly and tonight, while she speaks, she knows something’s wrong and Alex isn’t simply missing Charlie.

She finishes her speech and she runs by his side anxiously. He gives her his phone with a little nervous gasp. She reads that Charlie has been hurt and is in the hospital. She knows he wants to go, she also knows his panic attacks, so she takes his hand and goes with him.

Jessica is the one who drives. She’s her rock, she’s a storm braver, but Charlie is his heart, he’s his lover. He doesn’t want to choose, he doesn’t want to lose either of them because he needs them both in his life, he needs love and no more loss.

“I’m sure he’s okay,” she says, even though they both know she isn’t.

The last time they went to the hospital was for Justin and his ghost is crushing them on their way to Cresmont.

“I should have known,” he whispers eventually.

“You should have known what?”

“That something like that would happen at last.”

“You could never know.”

“I could. I don’t deserve someone like him and I guess somehow the universe is reminding me what I’ve done.”

“He’s had a stupid accident on the field like half of the jocks before him, this has nothing to do with you.”

He nods but again, she knows him and knows his tics, so she adds:

“Alex Standall, don’t you dare deciding for Charlie what’s good for him when you’ve both made pretty clear that you’re happier together!”

“Well…”

“Don’t!”

“I just…”

“You just shut the fuck up!”

He nods angrily this time, but her threatening air is way more impressive than his, and they end up laughing like Charlie wasn’t in the hospital, like Justin hadn’t died, like Hannah’s face wasn’t haunting them. They laugh like two students without ghosts and regrets and traumas and visions. They laugh like if they were just going home for the weekend and about to meet their old friends rather than their graves. Like Charlie wasn’t in the hospital. He’d be so happy if Charlie wasn’t in the hospital.

Jessica parks in front of the massive building at last and she has tears in her eyes. They have been laughing for ten minutes, reminding each other of the most awkward moments they’ve been through together, and their shadows laugh with them. Now the shadows are growing, they grow in her dark eyes and take the control of her shaking hands. The shadows, the ghosts, the monsters. She feels overwhelmed with grief.

He feels like he can’t breathe.

They both feel horrible, so they do what they have always done best: they go together and stay close to each other.

They walk, they don’t talk, they try to ignore the memories assaulting them, and they eventually reach the second floor. Tyler is here, trampling absentmindedly, Estela shyly cuddling his arms. He came back for her whose father is more and more violent. She often sleeps at his parents’ and sometimes Jessica and Alex invite them both at the flat because Tyler’s bedroom on the campus is so small. It’s he who texted Alex and he spent the next two hours wondering if it was a good idea. Estela asserts that Jessica would know and would be the one driving but still he was worried for his friend. So, when he sees him, he sighs and rushes and snaps:

“He’s awake!”

“What?”

“Charlie! He’s awake! He’s been for half an hour, but you weren’t answering and I… and I thought…”

“You assumed the worst, he assumed the worst, and now everything’s fine,” continued Estela.

She winks at Jessica who smiles at Alex whose heart is beating faster. He noticed Tyler speaking to him but couldn’t understand a single word and it doesn’t matter because he’s not alone anymore. He has Tyler who says something to Jessica, and Estela who gives them a coffee and of course his best friend who takes him to a room where Charlie is smiling in his bed with his father on his side.

Charlie smiles and suddenly the world is turning right, the air is warm, he hears his friends behind him and Charlie is smiling.

“I wasn’t excepting you!”

“You seriously thought I wouldn’t come?”

“I seriously thought you didn’t know, otherwise of course, I would have guessed.”

“How would you?”

“Because I would have come immediately, too.”

Alex likes everything about Charlie. He likes his assurance softened by his kindness. He likes that he says gentle things so naturally. He likes his honesty, he likes his optimism, he likes his confidence in their relationship.

He has lost his innocence long before he first came to Liberty. Then he lost his faith and almost lost his life in the process. He forgot how to hope and how to believe in the future but now he believes in Charlie and in the person Charlie makes him to be. He will always be a broken cup with irredeemable cracks but in Charlie’s eyes he’s something else, in Charlie’s eyes there’s hope, in Charlie’s eyes he sees a future for them both.

“The doctors want to keep an eye on Charlie for the night,” announces his father. “I bet he’d prefer your presence over mine.”

“That’s not one hundred percent false, Dad.”

They smile to each other, the father and his son, and the next second Alex is sitting across Charlie his hands in his and his heart for him. Jessica embraces him and kisses Charlie on his cheek and then leaves with Tyler and Estela. They’re alone, they’re all and most importantly they’re in love.

“What happened?”

“I don’t know exactly. My head was hit and I passed out.”

“You did it just to have me come along.”

“Oh, you don’t need to, I’ve put this gigantic portrait of you on the field, so you can be with me even when you’re at Uni.”

Alex rolls his eyes but then he looks at him worryingly because that sounds exactly like the kind of things Charlie Saint George would do.

“Relax. I haven’t done it yet.”

“You won’t have to. I’m not missing a game ever again.”

“You have your life in Berkeley.”

“I care more about my life with you.”

“But you have me too, even if we can’t see each other every week you have me too, because I’ll never stop loving you. And, also, I’m afraid Jessica’s going to be pissed off if you miss all of her meetings because of me.”

“Maybe, but I’m sure she likes having the flat for herself though.”

“I’ll join you one day soon and she will have a home of her own.”

“I was surprise that you didn’t bounce back on my life with you.”

And they talk like they always do. Naturally, easily, grinning Charlie and happy Alex. They talk about Berkeley, about Alex’s classes, they talk about Charlie’s games and the scholarship he hopes to get, they talk about their families, and their friends, and their plans for the weekend. At some point a nurse comes in and gives Charlie a meal tray they share enthusiastically. Then Alex lefts his chair and he climbs on the bed. He feels his body warming up, he feels Charlie’s breath against his neck, he feels his skin on his soothed face and their hands are still entwined.

He never let’s go of Charlie’s hand. Not when they talk. Not when they eat. Not when they kiss. And he doubts he ever plans to.


End file.
